FIFA auf Naxos
Kitchen sink programming brings a melting pot of cringe and ick of global proportions the first (and hopefully only) World Cup Halftime show.
If you follow me on other outlets on social media, you know I’m a fussball fan
And even here when I documented my cultural excursion to Germany.
IN RESIDENCE: Weeks 2 & 3 - Germany
Jeff was an exceptional tour guide - organizing trips for groups to various locations with educational events. During our time together and he was away for work, he would send me videos explaining locations and the significance for him. It is with his spirit and memory that I practice sharing my perspective on experiences in culture during my own travel…
I have watched a lot of matches over the past two months and even was blessed to attend the Round of 32 match between my beloved Deutschland vs Paraguay.
While that was not the outcome I desired, the experience was beyond fulfilling and emotional. Die Mannschaft will return and it’s great to see other countries represent so well. Cabo Verde is my winner of the 2026 World Cup.
This weekend I was in Detroit and attended a match for my beloved Detroit City FC. I’ve been a supporter since 2021 and still hold my season tickets.
I watched the World Cup final at the Detroit City Clubhouse and wasn’t really able to experience the much beleaguered inaugural halftime show - out of respect for the customs of the beautiful game as well as, well… I was in a wonderfully rowdy place.
Those of us who have been following international football tournaments, it came as an ick that a halftime show would actually take place. Even FIFA has strict rules regarding the duration of the halftime break. According to The Times, “The half-time break at the World Cup final is expected to be about 30 minutes long to accommodate FIFA’s star-studded show — breaching the maximum time of 15 minutes permitted under the Laws of the Game.” When is the other time that this breach of this Law? Last year in the United States for the Club World Cup.
This in itself is controversial as in 2011, the International FA Board rejected a proposal by the South American confederation citing the “negative impact on player welfare and safety resulting from a longer period of inactivity”. Eventually they relented for the 2024 Final of Copa America and beloved Colombian Shakira performed a halftime show. Where? Miami, USA. Ah, American exceptionalism and global cringe.
Global broadcasters were concerned about providing game analysis for their audience and the global audience just wanted the commercialization of the world’s game to just end!
Now that I’m home, I watched the full show (I guess FIFA is FIFAing and won’t allow you to watch on Substack):
For the 2026 World Cup Final, the English rockstar Chris Martin (Coldplay), curated a Pangea of performance snippets (snippets around the 2-minute mark) included the following performers and setlist:
Madonna (Michigan, USA): “Music”
Gustavo Dudamel (Venezuela), the New York Philharmonic, the Simón Bolívar Symphony Orchestra, & The Muppets: “Seven Nation Army” (a nice nod to a major football chant by a band from Detroit)
BTS (South Korea): “Dynamite”
Justin Bieber (Canada): “Everything Hallelujah”
Shakira (Colombia) & Burna Boy (Nigeria): “Dai Dai”
The Muppets, Coldplay, & the PS22 Chorus (Staten Island, USA): “Believe in Love”
Now come of the performers are beloved by me and many - I was THRILLED to learn PS22 Chorus was invited and that’s a nod to Chris Martin’s inclusion. Shakira can solve world peace with an appearance and has proven that multiple times. Madonna… icon of the world. The Muppets?!?! Dudamel and the orchestras? They really made a buffer for any negative reviews. It was an onslaught of sound, color and frenetic energy - similar to the constant run of uninterrupted action of a true half of a football match (until “hydration breaks” were added).
All this kerfuffle and switching up the run of a program sparked in my mind the 1912 opera, Ariadne aux Naxos - a hilarious comedy with music by Richard Strauss and libretto by Hugo von Hofmannsthal.
The story: A dinner is running long and the Majo-Domo informs the two disparate groups - one a a saucy burlesque troupe (in other productions it may be cleansed to be a comedian dell’arte troupe), and the other a serious (read: pretentious) opera company - they must mash up their two offerings together. Pared down, it turns into a rivalry between “art” and “entertainment” with two factions forced to work together for the richest man in Vienna’s amusement. Hilarity ensues.
For a captive audience within the opera house, the chaos and denouement between comedy and bliss is welcome. Rather than being a message of love to the 1.8 BILLION viewers of the 2026 World Cup audience, it hammered a message of tempestuous arrogance by FIFA and one of the host countries.